Final Post.

Good Bye !

While things for Miss Kennedy the artist for hire are going much better, the things for MissKennedy the artist-author have gone worse.

Less and lesser readers. the new book, "Kennedys Vendetta" both the german and french version, has sold exactly just 4 copies and from these, no feedback was given.

There were times when I had at least a little audience. People were writing letters with their thoughts about the content of my books. This was so wonderful and it kept me going on. these days are a long gone by now and will never come back.

Nowadays, one comment I get more and more often is : "hey, why aren't you more popular?"

Okay. So now I have to justify myself for not being popular? Are you aware how fucking cruel this is? really, this hurts me very much and takes me down.

Look, I did not draw and create storys for "popularity". I also wasn't doing it to hear an occasional "oh you draw well", "I wish I could draw like this" or shallow, phony bullshit like that. I was doing it in order to share my most inner thoughts, feelings and passions. When I worked on a book or film I constantly had the future reader in mind. That was my motivation. Readers have gone, so has my motivation.

Nobody reads my books again, but instead asks me why I am not popular...Really It couldn't be worse. I have reached the bottom of it all. And I no longer want this.

So after long reflexion, I decided to stop all public activity related to my art - at least for a while.

I will just draw and create stories for myself. No new publishing. This will save me time, money and frustration. I will keep the sites of Antique White House, Georgie and so on online, as a memorial and for the improbable case someone wants to order an already existing book.

I will also quit my facebook, blog and other social network activity.

So, together with My characters, I say goodbye.

Kennedys Vendetta Deutsch

Since this entry is about a German Book, I will make it in German ;-)


So, nach einiger Zeit ist nun auch die deutsche Version von Kennedys Vendetta erschienen. Es war deutkich mühseliger als die französische, immer wieder fand ich Fehler, zwei mal musste ich das PDF korrigieren, als es schon beim Drucker war. Es haben sich deutliche Ermüdungserscheinungen bei der Arbeit an diesem Projekt gezeigt. Ich werde einen Weg finden müssen, dieses Phänomen  beim Nachfolgeband irgendwie zu umgehen.

Das ist das Cover. Es unterscheidet sich von der französischen Ausgabe, da ich mal eine andere Ästhetik ausprobieren wollte. Aber der Inhalt ist der selbe, nur halt auf Deutsch.

Inhaltlich ist es sicher eines meiner reifsten Werke.

Wer es sich gönnen will, kann auf diese Seite gehen: http://www.john-f-kennedy.eu/allemand/vendetta.htm

Dort gibt es einen Link zu Previews, also mit Leseproben.

May 9, 1978

*Warning* Sentimental content. ;-)

I'm traditionally doing this for JFK, so I'm doing it for him, too:   

Mentioning his birth- and death day observances in this blog -  along with some personal thoughts.

Aldo Moro  died today, 35 years ago, on may 9, 1978.

He was killed by the gunfire of his kidnapper.

I was 12 years old back then. It was a difficult time in my life, for I was in the middle of puberty which I hated and which I felt did came much too early. 

My eyes opened toward the world and what they saw was ugly and frightening. It was the time of the left-extremist terrorism and  the time of ongoing, reckless destruction of Nature .

I was a shy child and didn't talk much about my inner feelings that time.

I also remained mostly silent when the magazines and newspapers displayed the Photos of abducted Aldo Moro, 

First, those showing him  in captivity. There was this one where he still tries to smile:

I then thought in my silly mind that the whole thing was not that bad, that they (the terrorists)  will treat him well. Would he smile otherwise?

I was deeply moved by his gentle face. How could  you do any harm to this man?  I was somehow confident they will release him, for life is just and would not permit any other outcome than Aldo Moro being free and happy for the rest of his days.

Then I saw the photo where he looks sore and traumatized  and I understood that he was truly suffering.  

And then in May, came the  last one where he lays dead in the trunk of the car, surrounded by the people.

Magazines didn't bother about notions of  decency back then. They would print double paged color photos of bleeding corpses after a terrorist shooting.  Compared to that, the photo of dead Aldo was even pretty "harmless", for its not a "bloody" picture. The man seems to sleep. But it was everything but harmless to me. 

Italy had played a big role in my childhood. We were often there. I knew that there were a lot of ugly things in Italian reality (Mafia, poverty, injustice...) but Italy was always something like a piece of paradise to me.

I remember my mother sighing: "Oh no, they killed Aldo Moro, he was such a good man. He cared for the poor." 

I didn't had the words that would match my feelings. To the outside, I must have given the impression as if the whole affair  was none of my concerns. That was wrong.

I went to realize that the world is a big pile of Crap.  It's just not true that the good will always win. Cruelty and injustice  win.

I know that if I've told my mother or my friends about my  feelings, they would  have comforted me. But I couldn't.  I was speechless.

Today,  35 years later, Aldo Moro is mostly forgotten outside Italy. And I am recovering from being speechless.

The enchanted Italy of my childhood died together with Aldo Moro, that day. 

Now, so many years later, every time I look at photos of him, It's as if I could see a faraway glow from that lost paradise, deep in his eyes.  A sad greeting from a vanished world. This may be the reason why I try so hard to catch it with my pencils and colors.

...But just as the song says, I may as well as try to catch the wind.

Contract reloaded

My Job will finish Next Monday. And well, I have almost the half of the illustrations still to do. Of course, I would not put down my pencils just because the contract has expired. Its a project and I'd work on it until it is finished.

But now...Our Boss asked the Vosgian Government (who pays us) if we could expand the contract. Today we got the answer: YES! I will have that Job for another 6 months!

It will give me a bit more time, for the deadline of the printer ends in 3 weeks, so we get additional time -  with none to waste, of course. Other that, Our Job will consist in distributing our book and plan a new one!

I am happy beyond description!!

I also got the dates of my thermal cure: July 4 until July 24