lundi, août 29, 2005

Aux armes citoyens!



My last contribution in the "new US-civil war" - I promise ;)



Okay: In a near future, this is what happens:

Our beloved President Chirac one day decides that we French should go and invade the USA.


His arguments are the following:

-The USA are ruled by a stinky, fucking piece of Shit. (true)
-The USA got lots of dangerous weapons, nuclear, biochemical and so on. (true)
-The USA do not respect human rights (true - think of Guantanamo and Abu Grhaib)
-The USA shelters religious terrorists who speak out fatwas against foreign leaders (true - think of Pat Robertson)
-The USA is a dangerous, aggressive country (true - think of all the wars they were in since 1945 alone)
-The USA tries to replace other cultures with their own. (True - Nothing but US-serial shit on TV, McDonalds where ever you go. arrg!)
-The USA is evil because our President says so and if you don't want to be a traitor and love your country, you support your president.

In fact, all those arguments are perfectly true. But to be honest, I don't feel like going to war. My dear friends - I need some advice. What shall I do?


10 commentaires:

JgStephan a dit…

A lot of Germans talk so and I dissociate myself from such arguments. I can imagine why you have written this entry.
I have also written my opinion on political topics in your Blog, but I liked it without these better.

Diana Kennedy a dit…

Most of the Germans think that you should'nt go to war for any reasons. - Not even to prevent a country from doing a genocide. That is surley not my point.
I just repeated the arguments that were presented at the Iraq-war but from the viww of the French. The only difference is that the claimed mass-destruction weapons of the USA DO exist for certain, unlike the bogus weapons in Iraq.
I am not of the ones who say "never gp to war". But I would personally need better reasons like that.

mauser*girl a dit…

WMDs - well, firstly, there are WMDs in Iraq. Except they've had the past 10 years of fucking around with the inspectors to hide them or ship them off to Syria. Weapons inspectors have found them. They also found them in the first Gulf War, and they found some this time 'round, too (mustard gas shells). Funny enough, you don't hear THAT all over the news.

France was also RIGHT THERE flying aerial sorties over Iraq right up intol 1998...

Fitch a dit…

Surrender while you still have a chance.

Diana Kennedy a dit…

Surrender!? ha! oh no! Freedom or death! If we loose and get occuoied, I will go to the resistance and smuggle explosives into the Burgers!

Casual Notice a dit…

Point for point:
1) Unlike Iraq, our asshole will be gone in 3.5 years.
2) So does France. In fact France has no difficulties selling their cutting-edge military tech to agressive nations (until recently, the number one jet in Israel was the Mirage fighter).
3) You've got me on Guantanamo--what really pisses me off is that's even a violation of our own laws, but Abu Ghraib? Where in the Geneva Crimes-of-War Treaties does it say you can't be stripped naked and ridden by a semi-hot girl like a pony?
4) Yeah the Pat Robertson thing was blown out of proportion. Basically, the President of Venezuela has been yammering for months that the US has been trying to kill him, and Robertson said, essentially, "If that's really what he wants, then let's give it to him." Hardly a call to Jihad.
5) Yeah, bailing France out of that Southeast Asian Morass they'd gotten themselves into was a big mistake on our part.
6) We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
7) That's just funny.
8) The US has a population of 290 million. During World War II we produced more military equipment in 1943 than all other participants combined (for the entire duration of the war). France has a population of about 53 million and nowhere near our production capacity. We would wipe the floor with you (we would regret it, and there would be a lot of talk about betraying LaFayette, but we would do it, just the same).

Diana Kennedy a dit…

1) I did'nt know that Iraq the whole country should be gone ??
2)USA also did sell weapons to saddam in Iran / Iraq war, USA did support Afghan Taliban while
Russian occupation - so where's the difference?
3) It doesn't even need a Geneva convention but most basic human decency to not humiliate others.
4) What Chavez is or said has no importance. What counts is that a so called Christian shall not
wish death to others, unless he's a fucking hypocrit.
5)What does the past matter?
6)I will resist! :-) Baguette insteda of hamburger! Burn Ronald macDonald!
7)It's the kind of joke that works since ever when you want to get into war.

Slim a dit…

Now you've done it!
Not content with having got blown away at Agincourt:
"Once more into the breach dear friends..." - Henry V
Then having a right royal time at Waterloo:
"I used to say of Napoleon that his presence on the field made the difference of forty thousand men." - Duke of Wellington
You want to go and take on the Yanks:
"Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all." - George Washington

:D

Othosmops a dit…

Reading this entry from the distance of a half year lets some aspects look slightly different I guess.
Not that I think your 'Aux armes citoyens' was (or is) wrong or, regarding the facts, incorrect (but who knows, perhaps I am only a victim of Chirac's & Schröder's propaganda tricks: Admittedly I'm a German). But anyway: What happened about those western nations that boasted about observing human rights? Seemingly none of those steady Old Europeans kept its innocence, the German Inner Minister still is a vocal fan of torture confessions and the difference to the American 'piece of shit' just seems to be a smell nunace.

There is another aspect I want to note: I see a relationship between the style of government of the USA and the turnout of Hollywood's most important's SF series: Briefly: Star Trek vs Star Wars / Battlestar Galactica.
The theory:
Star Trek series' outputs are a sign of a political spring, the try of gaining the sympathy and help of the whole world with signs of peace and love and understanding:
The Star Trek series was started in the mid of the sixities, at the beginning of a civil liberation era, and ended when the USA's repute was discredited by the Vietnam war. Battlestar Galactica was created in the end of the seventies when the policy of détente got undermined by sovietic arming efforts. Later Star Trek started again when the Soviet Union changed it's political course under Gorbachev and the communism wasn't a believable foe image any more.
At the end of Clinton's government the popular mood changed under the impression of fundamentalism from everywhere, and after 9/11 the USA was forced to get into the bunker. Star Trek was out and Battlestar Galactica reconvened.
Taking those series an indicator for upcoming developments it seems that despite all present signs of political correctness (e.g. the US anti-torture law) we are still far away from leaving the ("anti-terror"-) bunker. Even if no one likes to leave his children to foreign wars in the US any more the video game creator's and TV maker's guild still play their role as the whip of a neocolonialistic militarism.
Your Kennedy tale is an enjoyable and encouraging counterpoint in this context and a revealing mirror that I don't want to miss. Cheers and good speed in 2006!

Diana Kennedy a dit…

Dear Othosmops,

Thanks for taking the time to write this long and toughtful comment. Yiour comparison star-trek-era versus battleship Galatica-Era is very interesting. I think yoiu are right with this one.
Of course, things are never this vlack and white. I am pretty scared too about the ideas of the German Interior Minister regarding torture. But I am more scared by the fact that nobody seems to be really upset about this. Imagine him having said this in the Eighties, at the hight of the peace-movement. It would have been a scandal.

Also thanks for reading the Kennedy Tales. Being a counterpoint is exactly the purpose of this comic.

Good new year