vendredi, février 12, 2010

Another day

First of all, let me thank you for your compassionated comments. They really helped me. I know that several of you had similar experiences with beloved pets and therefore, know very well on how that feels.

It is still an open, bleeding wound. Meanwhile I manage to do some work, but very little.
I am not feeling guilty about "slacking" , because I just need this time until I can get back to work just as before. I am only doing a stroke or two here and there, surf on the net, try to distract me or simply sitting there, crying occasionally.
I also take a lot of time for my other cats; Flecki, Pico, Millie and Georgie.

In the dreams I had before that day, I saw Gribi several times, coming to me, as if to say goodbye. I also saw him turn into a little kitten. The kitten had similar colors, although not the same. I don't want to get lost into a vein idea, but believe me, if perchance I cross such a Kitten and if it was conceived after Gribis death and is for adopting, I WILL adopt it.

We still couldn't proceed to Gribis burial. Soil is too frozen. Therefore we had to transport his corpse outside. Frost will prevent decaying. I see it as a slight progress that the idea of carrying him outside into the cold, doesn't seem as unthinkable as it used to, until yesterday. I am now more able to perceive his corpse as empty shell and feel his spirit independent of it.

It seems to be part of my fate that when a long held wish of mine comes true, Another event in my life saddens me so much, that I can't enjoy the wish's Fulfilling. This was also the case yesterday: The workers came to install the new floor in my future room. This was really a day I yearned for so long time ago and now that it became reality, I was too depressed to even realize it properly.

This is Pico, inspecting the new floor. It is almost finished, it just lacks the parts that connect to the wall.

2 commentaires:

Feronia a dit…

I believe that Gribi may have been communicating with you through a dream, Diana.

Sweet photo of Pico.

Diana Kennedy a dit…

@Feronia: I do also believe that.